BUOYEANT COURT , 柏岩阁

白日梦 (Deepavali 1-day Holiday)

2011-10-26T03:43:00.000-07:00

忙完一大场, 趁着 Deepavali 1-day Holiday 补充了足够的睡眠。。。满脑子就浮现了一大堆天马行空的点子

好久没有如此的虚构；或许是最近都有抽空看些电影。。。和认认真真得过着每一天。《魂魄唔齐》，和《Real Steel》这两部电影都把我搞哭了。。。

仔细想想，因该是发现生活越来越无助，一切都在靠自己。但那也无所谓，反正没人缭乱了我的思绪，拥有百分之一百的思想自由。。。

白日梦发了些什么？
2011 到了终点。。。好好的规划明年

有了钱，
（1）明年6 月一定要到 Chicago 参加 Tap festival
（2) 好好学一学十支舞，明年考试，后年靠教师执照 & 到中国进修（30岁）
（3）看看时间的安排，studio + bistro 要等到31岁才行得通了。。。不管了，最重要是曾经拥有。

现在没钱，
（1）先在十二月前把一支10 分钟的production 搞出来。弄个potfolio作marketing. 现在开始，每年最少要有一个代表作。。。
(2) 听见988 新人王在作招募，管它三七二十一，去试试，看看会不会擦出些什么火花
（3）舞得继续练，一定要弄出个名堂
（4）继续左右逢源，“舞语伦比” 的概念一定要继续灌溉。。。

写完了这篇，我好像发现了，我开始学会坚持 (consistent + persistent)
人生要有梦，坚持梦想，努力付出，梦想就会实现。。。

将心比心：我终于明白现在的年轻人，每天上班，为什么都没劲儿，也不负责任。那是因为现今的工作不再给人梦想，上班都是为了工作而工作，为了俩口饭。对于上一代，两口饭是人生，这个时代，梦想是人生。。。下一代，可是危险时代的来临

Real Steel... real good movie

2011-10-22T09:46:00.000-07:00

今天到电影院看了'Real Steel'。。。

故事内容超棒。。。它的幽默，它的感动，我都看懂了。。。

我落泪了；不止一次。。。

因为那一份坚持，
因为那一份努力，
因为那一份付出，
因为那一份关怀，
因为那一份感情，
因为那一份信任，
因为那一份成就，
因为那一份忍耐，
因为那一份勇气，
因为那一份骄傲。

人生不过如此，没有永远的第一，也没有永远的失败。所以，我不求天长地久；只要曾经拥有。
希望我的努力和坚持，也会为我生命带来一次轰轰烈烈的回忆，留下一部脚印。。。
那就够了。。。

我被甩了。。。

2011-10-20T08:37:00.000-07:00

我被甩了。。。感觉好怪！一点莫名其妙，一点不舍得，一点空虚，一点不知所措，一点伤感，一点可惜，一点愤怒，一点“无所谓，没关系，管它的”

突然间，我的生命好像出现了一个空缺，没得跳拉丁舞了。。。舞伴的位子由谁来填补，或者拉丁舞由什么来代替呢？

原来这个世界，没有什么是不可取而代之的。。。

Rat Race (ShenZhen, Bangkok, KL)

2011-09-26T09:15:00.000-07:00

Visited ShenZhen in July and Bangkok in September.

Both trips weren't very pleasant due to the planning. But at least I'd realized, I'm someone who love to travel with objective.

One thing I'm most glad of is being aware that life in Malaysia is simple and easy.
Population in Malaysia is far more less then in ShenZhen and Bangkok... Its far more easy to win in the rat race, to be known or to be someone.

In ShenZhen and Bangkok, everyone on the street is struggling to make a living, both cities have their own wholesale market. People in the market, find their own ways to cheat, to cut cost, to work hard and to persuade for one motive... To sell so that to earn for a living.

I see brave and courage in the people in Bangkok and ShenZhen and it reflects how coward, ego and pride I have in myself.

Lesson learn: Life to the fullness, be yourself, work for the dreams, there's nothing to loose, just do it...

相信， BELIEVE

2011-09-01T08:38:00.000-07:00

经过一段忐忑，迷茫的日子。。。

我领悟了“相信”的力量，The Power of Believe。

当一个人掉落在谷底，它需要的只有一个，就是希望。但是，希望可能很抽象，只要他相信，很多负面的想法，便迎刃而解。

我当时相信了八字命理，说我还需要面临变化一直到33岁。
我相信了Inner talk 会在潜意识里激励我，帮我舒缓压力。
我相信了Manjusri 文殊菩薩会给我智慧。

When you wish, believe it. When you know, accept it. When you want, just do it.

八字算命

2011-08-30T01:26:00.000-07:00

八月2011 年，我人生出现的第一个“乱”

失去了方向，看不见3年，看不见5年。唯一知道的，是“变”。。。

如何变，变成如何？完全没有头绪。更不用说“选择”、 “取舍”。。。

时间越来越紧逼，思绪越来越复杂。压力砸下来 - 问神；我终于知道人为什么需要信仰。。。

打了一通电话给妈，问了时辰八字就传了给 Kong Eu。

披了出来，既然是十年（24- 34岁) 岁破 - year breaker。。。难怪我累了这么多年，但也好, 知道了就继续努力5年，必有收获。
-我自己批一批命理，因该33岁结婚生子吧！哈哈哈（苦笑）因为，助我之贵人太太与孩子也。。。天啊，最怕陈家的我既然有这种福气，天意弄人啊。。。

管它三七二十一，回到当下，日柱下的我 - 辛亥 “论阴阳五行，天干之辛属阴之金，地支之亥属阴之水，是金生水相生” 简单来讲。。。金生水 - 好。
-我从事哪一行？阴金（辛）--〉阳水（亥） --〉阳木（甲） = 我本人是个展示品（演艺界); 相克：阳水（壬），阳土（戌） = 社会目光。。。所以，不做幕前；做幕后。 Mother nature will take care the rest...

左右逢源

2011-08-30T00:29:00.000-07:00

充满着幻想，天马行空，不切实际的我。。。

需要的，就是活在当下。

而最好的练习，就是就地取材，左右逢源，节省开支，充分利用我所拥有的。。。

28岁，我要的。。。

2011-08-29T23:27:00.000-07:00

经过一段纠缠不清，模糊无助，失去方向的3个月。。。我面临了第一次的“early 30 crisis”

换银行，换工作性质，换单位，换工作地点，直到 counter offer, 真地把握搞得团团转。
The factor taken into consideration: Money & ability to dance (job load & timing flexibility)
如果问我那者比较重要，Money：55%； Ability to dance: 45%

其实这一换，让我成熟了很多，让我沉淀了我一直不敢面对的顾虑，让我知道我真正要的是什么。。。
-成熟：勇于面对，接受。现实生活中，每个人都有他自己的责任，分内事。During the changing job process, I'd learn the terms tactful & politically correct. (Shin, Chris, Yin Pheng, Nicholas, Lew (team head), Kan (HOD), NPL (new boss), Sam (OCBC boss), Suet Ling (MBB boss), Celine (RW Headhunt), Chui Feng (Ambank risk boss). U all had marked a significant roll during this confusion period of time.

-不敢面对的顾虑 - “职场上失去的安全感”：马死落地行，管它的，去做，去面对，死不了。
工作是工作，工作是为了钱，钱是为了解决不必要的烦恼。热爱工作，工作是一笔生意，客户是debtor; 老板是supplier，月薪是sales/ turnover。做好本分，做多少，就赚多少。

-我要的: 钱、跳舞 (Money, Ability to dance)。有钱就可以跳，没钱就没得跳。

我对建立一个家真的有恐惧感。。。

2011-04-14T08:21:00.000-07:00

一只以来，我都不承认这个问题，也认为我可以克服。但是我现在确确实实对“家”不再有信心。

20 年来，自从父母分开住，我也当起了家里唯一的男丁。建立一个家真的不容易，维护这个家更不容易。。。真的好累，好累。。。

小的时候，很简单，读好书就好，不给家里添麻烦，做个好孩子就好。父母希望孩子健健康康，出人头地。但我想，在每个孩子的心里，也不就是希望父母开开心心，家人过着舒舒服服的日子。

20年了，我都在维护这一点。尽量成全每个人的要求，维护家人的心理健康，快乐，生活的舒适。。。

我清楚知道自己身为家里唯一的男丁，也是家里的精神支柱，自然就背起了“我在那里，家就在那里”的责任。我必须自我保护，才可以给家人有安全感。将心比心：自己要爱护好自己，就是给爱你的人最好的报答。。。

但是，歌儿也有的唱 “我爱你，你爱“它”，他爱“它”，却没有人爱自己” - 对自己负责任

常常看见大家在为了别人而自我糟蹋。。。多可悲啊！将心比心，这个道理，真的这么难领悟吗？我的付出换来的都是看见家人心理一箩箩的烦恼，放不下的背负。。。是我做得不够好吗？还是我的要求太高？20 年的家，至今都没搞好，我还可以建立新的家吗？

我真的对“家”这个概念绝望了，也放弃了。。。

Its a horrible day...

2011-04-14T07:34:00.000-07:00

Never felt so bad before.

2 things happened.

I'd by-passed my boss to go "one level up" in order to get my case to proceed faster and less questioning. I knew this is not right and this day gonna come. All this while my boss trusted me and give me lotsa freedom, but I'd gone beyond her boundary and felt I'd betrayed her. Am I doing it wrong? I'd sabotage my own integrity. Is it worth it?

Secondly, I'm very disappointed with my mom. She message me to check when will the telephone line gonna be fixed so that she will come home to wait for the TM technician. (to me, the line is still workable, just that it is sometimes not very clear). I then replied her by saying come home for the happiness/ or becos the heart wants to but not due to responsibility to wait for the technician. Her answer to me is that she will be happier if the line is fixed. In my mind, I really wonder, is my home just good for its telephone line, Astro, Air Condition, Fridge, Computer and nothing else besides these physical materials... Am I being too sensitive? I'd been trying so hard to take care of my family member's feelings, emotion, convenience and comfort. I'd tried to show them my positive and pro-active attitude to live life to the fullness, I'd tried to influence them by putting myself as an example. But what is in return? They are showing me a total opposite of my expectation. Am I putting too high of expectation on them? What's life means to them? Is it really that shallow? I really don't want a life like that... I want dreams to come true, I want improvement, I want progress, I want life to be rich in heart, experience, knowledge...脚踏实地，不代表原地踏步；缺是实实在在的往前走！

我要的 Dance （心）, Pray （灵）, Work （身）

2011-02-13T11:12:00.000-08:00

火红的 "Eat, Pray, Love" 电影，开启了人们对生活的另一种概念。
但对我而言，我目前要的 “身、心、灵”却没有吃。吃，固然是人生一大享受。但，目前对我而言是体力的来源。

而我要专注的缺失一下：-

Dance：我的精神资助，我不会放弃的兴趣。
Pray: 爱，人生有爱才有意义。无怨无悔的自爱、大爱。
Work: 生命的规则。工作= 生活，万物之间的互动，交流.

失望啊，伙伴！

2011-02-13T10:19:00.000-08:00

开始了自己的生意，有了伙伴，但是真不知道伙伴这条路能走得多远。

得不到实际的支持，完全是嘴边谈兵，连纸上谈兵都称不上。可悲！

我开了“fan page” 但他上了网却没去“like”它；更别说是帮忙宣传。担心会被误会，怕别人怀疑是背叛了老板；我想是没用心，或是智慧的处理吧！我能做的，为他想的；我觉得也够了。积极(proactive), 态度，还是要看个人。

不怪他，也许他有我无法顾虑到的难题！但我是真的失望了。。。

下一步，我想还是自己坚持走下去，他准备好了，再进来。可是，对他的期待，信心，可靠度可是大大减少了。真的不想！

我很清楚知道，很多事情，单靠一个人的能力是有限的，计较太多也没益处，更何况是朋友。希望这宽容能让我在处事时更圆滑，更得心应手。

机会是给有准备的人，成功更是给有努力付出的人。

一步一脚印，创造梦想；虽然目标是主要，我想过程就是历史，就是成长，就是回忆，就是人生。我想只要抱住这个信念，自然界会给于适当的眷顾。

因为你是朋友，真得很希望这艘船有你。假如只是个木船，我不介意你寻找更大的船只。但是，如果这时艘大船，我希望是你有份一起建立的。

The Social Network... 一个实实在在的一堂课。

Manjusri

2011-02-13T09:11:00.000-08:00

After considering for a long time to get a religious pendant, I finally bought them from Kechara. Its Manjusri.

[Mañjuśrī (Skt: मञ्जुश्री) is a bodhisattva associated with transcendent wisdom (Skt. prajñā) in Mahāyāna Buddhism. In Esoteric Buddhism he is also taken as a meditational deity.

Mañjuśrī is depicted as a male bodhisattva wielding a flaming sword in his right hand, representing the realization of transcendent wisdom which cuts down ignorance and duality. The scripture supported by the lotus held in his left hand is a Prajñāpāramitā sūtra, representing his attainment of ultimate realization from the blossoming of wisdom. Mañjuśrī is often depicted as riding on a blue lion, or sitting on the skin of a lion. This represents the use of wisdom to tame the mind, which is compared to riding or subduing a ferocious lion.

He is one of the Four Great Bodhisattvas of Chinese Buddhism, the other three being: Bodhisattva Kṣitigarbha, Bodhisattva Avalokiteśvara, and Bodhisattva Samantabhadra. In China, he is often paired with Bodhisattva Samantabhadra.

In Tibetan Buddhism Manjushri is sometimes depicted in a trinity with Avalokiteśvara (Tib. Chenrazig) and Vajrapāṇi (Tib. Channa Dorje).]

My 1st impression at Kechara is that the volunteers are very pushy on donations...
I was asked to go from booth to booth to get my answer for a questionnaire (orientation attempt) and I was abit reluctant at the beginning but with Kong Eu's guidance, why not.

To me, religious are all about teaching for good deeds... But human had market them is all sorts of ways to attract people, to make others to belief in them, to convince others that the teachings are great. Unintentionally, greed, pride had overtook the initial intention.

However, after Kong Eu had convinced me by not to think too much about others intention and focus on my on motives, without second thought, I'd decided to get the Manjusri pendant and believing the universe will take care on the remaining concerns.

In my thoughts, its either Manjusri or Medicine Buddha.

Medicine buddha: I know my doctors will take care of my health and why not let the people in the medical line to get his guidance to help more people.

Manjusri for me? Deep down of me, I love to learn, explore, analyst but lack of wisdom, focus, appreciation and application.

Praying for his guidance to make me a better person to serve the universe and benefits as many people as I can...

A message from my Dance Teacher

2011-02-13T08:51:00.000-08:00

I'm Lazy...

Think deeply, am I really so?
Am I lazy for my dance? Am I lazy for my work? Am I lazy in my life?

What do I really want for my dance? A professional? A social dancer? Just for hobby? How far I want to go?

2011 resolution/ 2011决议

2010-12-31T03:19:00.000-08:00

如果我再不定下 2011 决议，那就晚了！
If I still don't make my 2011 resolution, I'll missed it!

(1) Buy one (1) new house, below RM100k. (Rental with positive cashflow)
(2) Nett ROI per annum in share market to be not less than 10% pa.
(3) Increase gross salary by 30%
(4) New business model to have TURNOVER: Not less than RM5,000-00, GP%: Not less than 20%, NPBT: Positive.
(5) Forced savings (reserve funds) of RM420 nett
(6) Fixed monthly cash payment to mom of RM400 nett
(7) Top 3 placing for Novice or Pre-Amateur in dance competition for respective categories (i) Ballroom AND (ii) Latin
(8) Well toned Body Weight at 63 - 65kg .
(9) No alcohol/ No cigarettes - Unstressed liver function.
(10) Stay positive & happy (Hair Loss as indicator)

Happy New Year...!!!

All time phrase （常青座右铭）
== Today is GrEat but Tommorow will defintely be BETTER ==
== 今天很好，明天是更好 ==

Phrase for 2011 （ 2011 座右铭）
== Now or Never ==
== 现在．没 ==

Phrase expecting for 2011 conclusion （ 2011 一字总结）
== I did it ==
== 成 ==

Phrase for 2010 conclusion (2010 一字总结）
== Whatever is over, is over ==
== 过 ==

过期

2010-10-05T07:59:00.000-07:00

写部落，往往能得到些体会，

刚post的《把悲愤化为力量》，其实是我在九月已写好的稿，可惜时间过得太快，一忙之下，便把事情给抛在脑后。

看看那篇文章的第一句，写着“两个礼拜之前”，这可是已经过了多少期。时间不能倒流，但是，事发却实实在在的发生了。

故意不把它改正，就因为要它提醒我，每一份，每一秒，事情都在发生，时间也从来没停止...有许许多多的事情，我们不知道，但已发生了。人生就是如此奥妙！！

把悲愤化为力量

2010-10-05T07:57:00.000-07:00

我在两个礼拜之前，交给同事一笔生意，要他带我处理（因为是在他们的范围之内）。可惜得是，他给了我许多拖延我的借口。我一直视以为真，但今天，我听到各方给我的交待，竟然完全不吻合。后来，他们把这一笔生意交回给我处理。我向客户打听了其他竞争者的状况，才知道，一切已经太晚了。不但没了这笔生意，连我自己早前处理的，也不被接受了。

很多时候，我真不知道，一个团体合作，是利或弊。靠别人做事，对我而言，一向都不是很可靠的事，但，公司的结构有它一定的规则。如何要其他人把自己的要求达成，我真是完全没有头绪。最近到了公司人事汇报的期限，上司问我，我是一个领导，还是一个团体份子；毫不犹豫，我回答了我是个团体份子。原因很简单，我不喜欢吩咐，因为他人难以达到我的目标。

回想失去了的生意，真是一肚子气。但是，我还真应该多谢我这位同事，他让我明白，善者被人欺；他提醒了我，做人的积极。财与势，不是一切，一旦有了，就是方便。做人的圆滑，就是不要让人看见心机与无意的差异。

Weird Clubing night at G6

2010-08-14T05:43:00.000-07:00

After a long hibernating from outings with my colleagues... I finally went out yesterday with them for a dinner...

Things seemed to be the same except for the venue. Dinner and chill was at WIP Bangsar Shopping Centre. The restaurant's interior is great, great urban chill-out venue and it can also be an ideal place for Tap shows as the wooden flooring seems like calling me to make it groove.

However, the sofa just doesn't seems very comfortable as the back support is so low. Food wise... hmm, the standard bistro/ bar cuisine, nothing special (definitely not its attraction)... The toilet sign somewhat caught my attention... Give a guess, which is which (different ppl see things differently)

On the other hand, after the outing, i start to concern on my social skills. I seems to be more reserved these days, can't find anything to talk about, no humor, no joke and can't even find any interest in others too. Dinner and chill out session was boring.

Next stop... uhhah, G6 Gardens midvalley. Things started smoothly with slow flow of alcohol. Probably everyone was still sober, nothing interesting. Leng zai and leng lui, the best ones are still from our table... muahahaha....

The night got younger. Everyone was happy, moved with the groove, and dance crazily. My observations... girls in Malaysia should take up disco dance, forgo the hip hop, and learn to be sexy first. As for "corporate ladies", they could be the best financial consultant, lawyers, auditors and bankers, but they definitely didn't maximized their in-born feminine.

I didn't expect the night ended so soon. But things happened. A guy suddenly appeared by "secretive invitation" from Fee (her boy friend was kept at home). J was tipsy and for no reason, was very upset and say something like want a fight, or challenge or some bullshits (I knew he didn't mean it). JD as usual had another girl with him and smooching round the corner. The rest, errr, oops didn't really noticed. As I'm too happily dancing...

Out of no-where J was grumpy and wanted to leave... So, there we go...

I really wondering what is inside J's mind. I think its ego. J is married and loves the wife so much and a soon to be dad. Rite, he do flirts around... So... But why was he so bothered about that young boy going after Fee. Lost of confident due to aging? Felt like losing a challenge? Felt that the situation wasn't within his control? Felt threatened? From those grumpy statements, definitely yes... But one think I'd learnt, the effect on lost of confident and ego can be great.

郁闷

2010-08-08T03:30:00.000-07:00

一周又过去了，郁闷的心情好象渐渐淡了。真谢谢你阿佩雯，听我诉了一堆无奈又无聊的苦。

郁闷。。。真耐人寻味，不是无聊，闲着没事干，也不是心碎，伤心透顶。

郁闷。。。是“乱” - 乱忙一场。毫无头绪的追求，盲目的冲。生活突然间变得束手无策。为了什么？为了掩饰自己的不安，失去的自我，失去的信心。

这一段日子，节目的确多了很多，碰到的人也多了。时间排得如此的紧凑，让自己无法掌握。
**生活变得像头牛，鼻子硬被拉着，被牵着走。拉的越紧，走的越慢，越吃力。拉的人叫做“时间，梦想，目标”；被拉的这头牛便是“我的能力与资源”。

**心则变得像头驴，如此的聪明；后面的人拼了命，努力往前推，但一步都没前进。推的人叫“社会，环紧”。周遭一直在变，一直在进步；如果自己不再进步，就会被淘汰，往后面挤。而这驴，便是一颗忐忑的心。对前方充满着想象，产生了贪念。看见了别人的成果，别人的光辉，接着便也想要拥有。

这阵子，觉得自己好像缺了什么似的，好像没什么成就，还搞得自己失眠，害怕睡觉，好像好多事还没完成，害怕第二天起床的痛苦。更气人的，就是我组长（钱赚得挺多的；亦只有三十来岁）发表了对中年危机的看法；以前，终年危机对男人来说，是在35-40岁时还没打好基础；现在却提前到28-30岁。（这是我一直认同的事实）

看见了友人成家，看见了友人了买房子，真是觉得自己好像日子白果了，工作也白做了。再看看一个主持界的朋友，年纪更我一样，是公众人物，有些名气，有人称他为老师也瞪得上评审台。那颗按耐不住的心，真是令我乱了脚步，心理失去了平衡，失去了专注力，失去了方向，失去了信心。

可惜啊可惜，每个人都有个限度，有自己该做的事；因该按部就班去完成，羡慕不了这么多。还是老话一句，比上不足，比小有余；人比人，比死人；你看我好，我看你更好；知足常乐，安分守己，前途无量。

终有一天，我的方式会得到认同。

（备注：别再打量以往的付出是否值得或正确，利用所拥有的智慧去达到目标，学无止境，活到老，做到老，学到老）

魅力

2010-08-02T09:50:00.000-07:00

最近老是心不在焉，我想因该是被某种魅力给吸引住了。

这魅力深深扣住我的好奇心，知道得越多，就越感兴趣。但是，又怕侵犯他人的隐私，克制一点还真有点儿难受。

“魅力”这东西还真是一门学问。我以许久没对任何事情感到如此大的好奇与兴奋。也许这一回，欲火真是被燃起了。哎，不断的变化，更是难以莫测，越是掌空不了，越是刺激。。。加上期待与盼望，更是把一颗麻木的心弄得痒痒的 "~

到底这魅力是从而来之?
仔细想想，因该是近在眼前，摸的着，看得见，听得到。。。但，缺留不住；在接着想一想，更因为是有内涵，多元化，正面，与拥有庞大的增值空间吧！以为自己得知道得越多，但却发现，还有更多没被发掘的，真是有够爽啊！

也许有些人会认为问道，有了这些元素，难道，“魅力”便呈现了吗？当然不是，魅力这东西，还真是因人而异。这回，我可实实在在的碰上我从未认真发掘的兴趣和学问。

就让我尽兴的体会一次吧！！

前方是何处？

2010-07-29T07:32:00.000-07:00

不知为何，这问题每月都会困扰我一次。
就像云霄飞车，让我心情高潮迭起。。。

我想是因为跳舞吧！！
一个是梦想，一个是现实。。。真难平衡啊！！！

真希望：钱，青春，时间，技术 - 可以一起并存

礼物 - 7 habits of highly effective people

2009-12-07T05:12:00.000-08:00

简简单单的一份“礼物",偶尔也会带来很大的学问。

所谓：礼尚往来，来而不往非礼也。。。

你是否有为送礼而感到压力；收礼而感到难为情呢？

有时，真希望自己可以像个小孩一样，单纯的接收礼物，不管礼物背后的意义，价值。。。

长大了，礼物有时真的可以很复杂。。。

或许是因为中华文化的关系，儒家思想的潜移默化吧！当我写这篇文章的时候，真的不知道如何用英文来表达。。。

送礼时，常常会为以下的事而烦恼：
（1）时机，
（2）价值，
（3）意义，
（4）合适

收礼时，其实只有三种状况：
（1）礼所当然的收礼
（2）无可奈何的收礼
(3) ... ...

上面这段废话是在8pm 左右写的，后来接了一通不太想听的电话（直觉告诉我，这通电话时来早谈判的）。。。嗨 (")''' 的确是，一讲就是3小时。。。所以可想而知，现在已是1pm了。

你也许会认为我现在充满着愤怒及懊恼，但是我很开心，我告诉我自己一定要把这一段写完。。。

在“谈判”当中，我努力着运用我刚上完7 habits - 2 days course 里的技巧。效果出乎我预料之外。那通电话是在一个充满着快乐和小小浪漫的气氛下结束。

- 不好意识，接下来用英文写会方便一点 -

The conversation started with simply empatic listening as it is clear that she called to speak and to seek for an explanation. Hence nothing is better than "seek first to understand". However, my skills remains at the level of keeping silence and giving minimal response instead of using the language of "as I get it, you feel...;So as you see it...; you must have felt...; you sound...;your feeling now is..."

However, my "perception" tells me that given the time long enough, she will definitely bla-out what she wants & espress as she called for a purpose. So after the long way going through, probing seems to take over. However, it was done for a purpose; its to find the root of the causing problem subsequently to apply the very 1st habit - Be Proactive.

First thing came into my mind - Negative (Reactive) wordings is like shaken soda. It will create an uneasy forces. Unlike proactive language calm like a clear mineral water. Hence, she was forced to say "I choose, I will, I love to..." instead of "if only, I'll try, i'll have to..."

Then next thing came into my mind - "Expanding the circle of influence". The conversation wasn't that easy as I need to concentrate and focus on changing each and every circle of concern created to become the circle of influence. Here is how the above nonsence story in chinese came about.

We had an argument over our respective principals. To her, she would like to give a birthday present to my mom simply she felt like doing so or otherwise my instinct tells me that partially is be because she felt guilty of causing me being away for meditation and unable to celebrate my mom's birthday (if she's reading this... I go for meditation is for my own good. Undoubt its for her, it is also for my aunt... so there's not much guilt she should be feeling, whats more vipassana meditation brings good karma). As for me on the other hand, I'm holding to the principal of "礼尚往来，来而不往非礼也" and eventually it'll bring me concerns of what to buy in return and I seriously thinking, the gift she bought for my mom really is unnecessary as we are not having any functions or celebrations.

There goes, 2 huge circle of concerns arises. Focusing on the circle of influence, I came out with the solutions by changing the thoughts...

- The argument allow us to understand each others behaviour & principal more. I know that she's full with kind hearted and I'm principally engage to the chinese teaching of "礼(Gift) 尚往来，来而不往非礼 (courtesy) 也" and so neither both of us need to give up our principal (circle of influence). And the solution is, in the future, its either she do something she strong feels like doing with me knowing/ involve or she can simply ask my opinion if its open for discussion.

Hence the moral of the above story allows me conclude a rule of thumb for 2 very principally driven person:

"Stay firm on your principal (原则）and be creative on your action"

So if you ask me why I'm so happy after the call... Its simply because I'd used the knowledge I'd gained from 7-habits and influenced a critical scenario to a pleasant ending. But most important is that, I'd learnt and seen the power of changing my own attitude will lead to the change in my perception.

Once again I'm really thankful to that phone call from her and greatly believe both of us will continue to develope the skills of 7-habits, sharing the greatest living philosophy and teaching each other all the knowledges under the sun.

Year End Review

2009-11-24T00:17:00.000-08:00

Its now year end again and time to overview the highlights over the past 12 months.

Time seems to flies faster and faster. There's too many things in mind and too much to look forward... Sometimes its just so easy to loose track got lost.

However, this coming year end seems to happen much earlier in which I only do those reviews at the very end of December and start my new year resolution after the Christmas Holiday & January 1st.

This time, I'd started my plans. 1st of all, clear all my credit card debts, 2nd: re-arrange my weekly schedule, 3rd: clearing all my house rubbish, 4th: financial planning, 5th: listing my focus, and most important... I'd started working on them. 2010 is just so fun to look into...

December is a very great month for me. I'd finish all my dance competition, ended my dance classes, received the book i'd ordered < 一堂一亿六千万的课 by 曹齐泰>, attended 7 habits course, going for 10days meditation, celebrating Christmas in Singapore with my dearest sister, meeting up my zi mui cum heng dai back from UK and throwing away all the house all furniture and lastly, 1st January (still blank)...woooh... I call this "everything back to square one"
Stephen
My new year resolution...
(1) Earn money, hit targets, sit for exams (either lisence or finance)
(2) Buy 2 houses that i'd been eyeing all this while
(3) practise 7 habits
(4) practise good health habits/ body building/ ends beginner level for latin & ballroom/master rhythm tap (always ready for performance)
(5) Create good home environment

Looking at the above, really not sure is 7days a week is sufficient for me... but I believe with persistency, and great attitute (The Secret, by Rhonda Byrne & 7 habits, by Stephen Covey) will lead me to my goal and my dream...

Opps... just realise the above seems very materialistic, and I'd left out networking and building relationships. But I suppose things will come along as loosing concentration will make things worst.

Yeap... focus focus and focus, 2010 I know you are waiting for me.

Vipassana Meditation

2009-10-25T10:35:00.000-07:00

Just came back from a 3 days meditation course. It wasn't a great experience this round compare with the 10 days course which I had joined in 2002. Probably its just too short for me to realize my expectation. But all-in, its still a great refresher.

I'm now observing the effect of my practice in daily life. Normally the effect don't come immediately. 1st observation shows a negative - I'm still that impatience and sounded a horn when I'm on my way driving back home in hunger, sigh...

Really look forward to my next service or practice in the near future on the 10 days course. After all, now is still never too late or its just simply irresistible for me to share this with all readers.

I'd shared this with people around me several times. But mostly are very defensive. To me this is very subjective depending on each individual's objective of living. But I think its just worth for at least a try in a lifetime; just like bungee jump, roller coaster, smoking, alcohol, sex, visiting a dream holiday, have a sport game with the idol club/ atthelete & etcs...

Lastly, may all enjoy the real peace, real harmony & real happiness. 愿众生享有真正的快乐，真正的安详，真正的和谐。

http://www.dhamma.org/

Quote:

Vipassana, which means to see things as they really are, is one of India's most ancient techniques of meditation. It was rediscovered by Gotama Buddha more than 2500 years ago and was taught by him as a universal remedy for universal ills, i.e., an Art Of Living.

This non-sectarian technique aims for the total eradication of mental impurities and the resultant highest happiness of full liberation. Healing, not merely the curing of diseases, but the essential healing of human suffering, is its purpose.

Vipassana is a way of self-transformation through self-observation. It focuses on the deep interconnection between mind and body, which can be experienced directly by disciplined attention to the physical sensations that form the life of the body, and that continuously interconnect and condition the life of the mind. It is this observation-based, self-exploratory journey to the common root of mind and body that dissolves mental impurity, resulting in a balanced mind full of love and compassion.

The scientific laws that operate one's thoughts, feelings, judgements and sensations become clear. Through direct experience, the nature of how one grows or regresses, how one produces suffering or frees oneself from suffering is understood. Life becomes characterized by increased awareness, non-delusion, self-control and peace.

Unquote

Success

2009-10-10T23:37:00.000-07:00

Saw the review on "The Star, Malaysia news paper" lately and made me came out with this conclusion.

"Everyone knows the concept on how to success in their dreams. But, the different between a successor and an ordinary person on the street is that the successor knows where to start, what to do & where's the goal in specific. They know their hurdles and obstacles; they think and most important, they execute and do whichever is necessary."

-As for the ordinary people, they know their goal, but don't know where to start. Why? Its all because of excuses...
-Excuses are good if only it is used as a tool for risk adverse and also for constructing mitigation plans.
-If excuses are just for the sake of excusing... Nothing will move-on.
-The globe never have an excuse to stop turning despite all the uncertainties happens inside the globe.

Enjoy reading!!!

The Star, Saturday October 10, 2009

How to become a millionaire

Reviewed by SHARIDAN M. ALI

The Millionaire Formula
Author: Dr Jeffrey Chiew with Tan Thiam Hock
Publisher: Estate Planners Sdn Bhd

DR Jeffrey Chiew was born in a slum, but managed to make his first million by the age 25. And now he is sharing his secret recipe on the path to riches via his book which he co-writes with financial expert Tan Thiam Hock.

As both writers are Malaysians, the context of the book would be relevant to locals. This, in no way, undermines the universality of the book’s main subject that focuses on the power of the mind to achieve your goal.

The simple language without overpowering financial jargon is also a plus point.

But the ultimate question that lingers around this type of wealth development tips and strategy book is – can the book make me rich?

Well, according to Chiew, if you want to be a millionaire, you better start thinking like one. Interestingly, in his first step, unlike many other wealth development books, Chiew focuses on one’s mindset, or in his own words, “mental programming”.

Next, you must value your own net worth that take into consideration your total asset and liabilities. This is to get a snapshot of your current financial situation, whether it is positive or negative.

He thinks it is important to get oneself organised. As simple as it may sound, the execution is not that easy but Chiew manages to streamline the process that I find quite useful.

The book includes a sample table that organises your income and spending.

The third step is rather important as it guides you to what you want in life and setting realistic goals in a specific time frame.

Fourth, it may sound cliche but in reality many people dream about being rich without any financial goals at all.

Once you have set your goal, the book guides you to plan how to achieve your success that involves changes in your everyday routine. One apparent useful tip is to keep a daily and monthly checklist that tracks your saving and spending as well as a reminder on your ultimate goal.

Fifth, the book also lists investment opportunities that include four mountains of wealth, namely business, property, financial market and the Internet.

The sixth step teaches you to save and manage your debt. Before you get too ambitious to save more than 10% of your salary, one has to manage and try to reduce his debt.

One way is through debt consolidation where it involves taking a loan with a low interest rate to pay off all your other debts with higher interest rates.

The last step is about how to make your money work for you. The writers explain the differences between savings and investments. Suitable for beginners who want to gain financial freedom. If Chiew can achieve it, so can you!

快乐

2009-10-10T22:34:00.000-07:00

快乐。。。每个人都有一套见解。

对我而言，自己能够令自己快乐，才是真正的快乐。

人道中，一切无常。如果一个人的快乐，需要劳驾他人，这份快乐不但维持不久，也许还会弄巧成拙。反而，一个永远乐观的人，不但能够让自己快乐，更可以把快乐带给大家。

四书五经的《大学》里，有提到 “正心，修身，齐家，治国，平天下”。对我而言，能够让自己真正开心，唯有重正心，修身中得到满足感。突然想起“五月天”的一首歌“你不是真正的快乐”- 哈哈哈。。。

正心，修生，是每个人对自己的一份尊重，责任。而，齐家治国和平天下是对自己以外的事。

修养不高的我，简单的把 “正心和修生" 看成了“学习欲望”永远带着一颗学习的心，把学到的智慧占为己有，重而得到瞒住，便是开心。

有时候想想，做自己爱做的事，又不耽误别人，何乐而不为啊！！！

各位，好好爱自己，好好的活着，人生是多姿多彩的，一个人不会没了谁而活不下去；地球也不会因为没有你而停止转动。

一个生命应为有了“自己”而精彩！！！

时间过得太快了

2009-10-10T22:09:00.000-07:00

好久没经营柏岩阁，感觉突然很陌生。

看见好友的updates 和 dancesport's 的 postings, 觉得自己好像灵魂出窍，不知到哪儿流浪，现在有如卷鸟归巢。

时间规规矩矩的往前迈进，我的生活却乱糟糟，不安分地往前推挤。每天都在赶，好多事情要做，好多事情需要兼顾，好多事情需要去掌握，好多事情需要去进步，好多事情需要去改善。

人生如戏，戏如人生。“戏”- 是游戏；还是电影院里播放的一场戏。
-戏，应该是认认真真地画上完美结局，还是开开心心，无拘无束的结束。

成熟，maturity

2009-05-12T06:26:00.000-07:00

这样的标题总会给人家两个想法：
(1) 青春期发育成熟期
（2）思想上的成熟

如果你带有"涩色"的念头的话，可不好意思，这回要让你失望了。

昨天晚上，受到轻微打击... 我的舞蹈技术被贬级了。
从小听爸爸唠叨：“做人要拿得起；放得下”，我这回可真的要学以致用。想想，很多事情真的会欲速而则不达。

这跟成熟又有何关联呢！
听了别人的意见，往往是忠言逆耳。很多事情，不是不懂，而是不去面对，不去承担。

跟我一起跳舞的好友，年龄与我相当，好不容易才把我劝好。我自认为从小在学会，社团还有常常跟前辈打转的我；政治，略某对我其实应该是一点也不陌生。可是，没想到要把自己贬级，还真是把我难道了。

在比赛的游戏里，策略比技巧/技术来的次要。但是没有策略，要赢一场比赛可是事倍功半。这回，我还真没想过这一点。现在相通了，降级，量力而为，把预备做足，接着重新出击，过关斩将，场场都打胜仗，又何乐而不为呢...

除此之外，因为要考量年龄因素，取舍变得相当困难。
妈妈的生活态度，坚持着“每个人在什么岁数就应该做什么岁数该做的事情”。现在想想, 我爸妈的家庭教育还真是见效。搞得我束手无策，但，当然不会行差搭错。可惜，脑子里飘着的事业（钱），学业（专业文凭），兴趣（跳舞，吃喝玩乐），感情（包括我爸妈和我要建造的家庭）...这个次序再怎么排也排不好，真是剪不断，理还乱。还好我舞伴给我打了个定心剂，说是即使今年没升级，明年才升也不过如此。“话是这么说，我还是得努力才是，两头不到岸，什么码头都没靠上，我这20-30岁的青春不但随那春水向东流，还把人家的青春一起带到太平洋喂鱼。想通了的结果，居然是随机应变，量力而为，按部就班，胆大心细，目标清晰，坚持到底。

人生不过如此，把事情简单化，享受过程，期待结果，一切自然会是精彩，快乐的。

I'm lost

2009-03-09T09:15:00.000-07:00

I haven't been so lost before... From chinese society to PBSM. From Catholic High to Taylor's A-level, then to Sheffield Chemical Engineering and UMIST. At work, I'd experience 9-months engineering job and now in Banking...

All these while, I know what I'm doing and the direction I'm moving towards. But now, where am I heading to. Corporate finance, CIMA? Can I really cope with it. Is my maths that good, am I a good negotiator? Am I meticulous?

Sales? am I strong in pursuading ppl (or do i really enjoy pursuading ppl)?

Now, here comes the point... Dance, am I going to continue dancing(competing). Is dancing really gonna affect my future. Is this something I can prepare now and use them in the future. Is dance a cost effective investment, or simply a hobby I'm investing in and not expecting any return from it. (Thou minimal i'm expecting it to help me in relieving my mind - contradicting huh...that's me)

Appraisal Day，放榜日

2008-10-14T07:28:00.000-07:00

自从离开学习生涯，好像有两年没经历过这个日子了。
I had handed an empty report despite complaining being very busy over the 12-month. Think back, whatever I had done seems to be insignificant to my KRA (key responsibility analysis).

All corporate run this system to monitor the staff performance, which I think its good. Otherwise, there will not be any guideline to track the efficiency. On the other hand, it definitely tells me one thing; I should start focus on my core responsibility instead of doing lots of unnecessary work.

I belief every one will go through this and every appraisal helps people to improve and move on to a higher level. At least this one tells me what I should do in the coming future and also to keep track on what I 'd done and contributed to the unlimited profit gaining company.

Thinking back about unnecessary work I'd done, I think its time for me to adopt some city folks surviving skills of being "realistic, calculative and materialistic". I suppose this is why lots of people complaining on the cool and less caring people in city.

Its really a shame but that's how life works. In city, people play hard and work hard. But how long and true friendship last, no one will know. Hence, seems like buddies were only created during study time and hard to expand in working life.

As usual, working is all about earning money to exchange for things people want in life. Sometimes seeing people expanding their networking and making new friends purely to take advantage is simple disgusting.

But that's what that makes people who have same interest and hobbies group together so that everyone can learn from each other. Life just contradicting.

Seeking for center point seems to be an never ending task. See-saw principal in life rules!!!

My 1st post

2008-10-14T05:55:00.000-07:00

I finally sit down and write something.

All these while, I'd been complaining how busy I am. But today, I'm tell myself; If I don't start writing today, I'll never do so.

Hi everyone, welcome to 柏岩阁，Buoyeant Court

Hope everyone have a good time here.